yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
