literally had 100 drinks last night.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
