I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
