man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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