He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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