We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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