relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
