How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
