a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
