Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
