her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
