he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
