he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
