Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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