They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
