I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
