The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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