My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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