when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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