so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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