like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
