He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
