WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
