I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
