I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
