i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
