i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
