another moral hangover. fuck.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
