Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize