party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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