Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
