I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Let's get the cat blown out
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
