I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
