i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
