He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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