I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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