So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
