You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
