bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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