Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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