Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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