Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
