Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
