are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize