Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
