yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
