Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize