You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
