I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
