I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
