Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
