just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
my poor anus
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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