We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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