Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize