I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
