I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
