Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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