Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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