And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
