I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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