i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
