I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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