did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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